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The Observe and Rapport Newsletter
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A weekly guide of my favorite books, articles, products, and lifestyle habits.
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December 20th, 2024 | by Kyle Brennan
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Note from Kyle
If you haven’t guessed from my recent book picks, my wife and I are about to welcome a baby any day now! This means this may be the last newsletter for a while, so I just want to say a huge thank you to all of you for subscribing, reading, and sending such kind messages over the years.
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Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Thanks for reading!
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Thought of the Week
Carl Jung's Theory of Enantiodromia
The more history I read, the more I’m convinced that nature always finds a way to restore balance. It’s like the universe is a magnet, constantly pulling things back into alignment.
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Carl Jung formalized this idea in 1921 with the term Enantiodromia—which sounds like a spell from Harry Potter but basically means this:
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Things in excess become their opposite.
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Too much of a good thing eventually becomes a bad thing. It’s like a pendulum—swing too far one way, and it’s bound to swing back.
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Take parenting: a kid raised with overly strict rules might rebel by going full Wolf of Wall Street the second they get freedom.
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I’ve always been disciplined, which sounds great in theory—until it backfires. When I get serious about fitness, I go all in: no alcohol, no bread, no junk food. I’m up at 5 a.m., hitting the gym six days a week, channeling my inner Rocky. It works…until it doesn’t.
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Eventually, I hit the wall. I reward myself with one “cheat day” that turns into a full-blown apocalypse: 30 beers, pizza, ice cream, and anything else not nailed down. Months of discipline undone in hours.
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We see this everywhere. Society overdosed on tech and constant screen time. Now everyone's meditating, doing goat yoga, and reading books with titles like Digital Minimalism and Stolen Focus.
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So, what can we do about it? Be mindful of nature's ability to always point the compass back to true north. Here's how to apply it.
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- Don’t go full tilt: Work hard, but not at the expense of sleep, sanity, or basic hygiene. Burnout isn’t a flex.
- Roll with the swings: Slumps happen—ask any athlete. Instead of panicking, be patient and wait for the pendulum to swing back.
- Check yourself: Overindulging? Overworking? Overthinking? Try goat yoga.
In the end, you’ll probably never say “enantiodromia” again (Lord knows I can’t pronounce it), but the idea sticks: extremes aren't sustainable. And as much as I cringe at the cliché “everything in moderation,” it’s annoyingly true.
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Go easy, or life will do it for you.
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What I'm Reading
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After a streak of heavy non-fiction, I craved a good old-fashioned thriller—and Cradle and All by James Patterson fit the bill. I grabbed it from a Little Free Library at the beach, curious to see how Patterson fared outside of his Alex Cross universe. Long story short: The guy knows how to keep a reader hooked.
Patterson is a master of the page-turner. While the plot wasn’t his strongest, the short, 2-3 page chapters ending on cliffhangers made it impossible not to keep reading. I found myself saying, “Alright, one more chapter”—until I’d read ten.
Here’s the setup: In Boston, 17-year-old Kathleen is pregnant, and she swears she’s a virgin. Meanwhile, in Ireland, another teenage girl, Colleen, is also pregnant under similarly mysterious circumstances. As bizarre events ripple across the globe, an epic showdown looms. Forces of light and dark close in on the two girls, each claiming to carry a child who could either save or haunt humanity. Enter Anne, a young detective caught in the crossfire, tasked with unraveling who’s telling the truth. Is one carrying the next savior, and the other…Satan? No pressure.
This book is fast-paced, haunting, and just the right amount of wild. Horror/thriller fans will love it. While it leans more into fantastical territory than Patterson’s usual fare, it’s undeniably entertaining. The prose showcases why he’s a commercial juggernaut—he knows exactly how to grab (and keep) your attention.
Cradle and All isn’t trying to be deep; it’s pure escapism, like watching a high-stakes fantasy movie. If you yearn for dense plot and character development, maybe skip this one. But if you’re looking for something gripping, eerie, and fun, this one delivers.
Rating: 2.9 / 5 ⭐️⭐️
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If you had told me about “gentle parenting” a few years ago, quite honestly, I probably would have rolled my eyes. But watching my in-laws navigate parenthood has shown me how crucial the parent-child relationship is, especially in the early years.
Dr. Becky Kennedy (@drbeckyatgoodinside , a clinical psychologist, offers a refreshing approach centered on compassion, understanding, and engagement. Her book Good Inside highlights three core needs all children have: connection, bodily autonomy, and boundaries. Most conflicts stem from unmet needs in these areas. Her key insight: behaviors are not your child; they’re windows into their needs.
This book felt less like a parenting manual and more like a guide to empathy in all relationships—with your kids, spouse, friends, and even your own parents. One standout idea is never judging someone based solely on their behavior. As Dr. Becky says, “Behavior is a window.” Outbursts or tantrums often signal unmet needs, and addressing those needs often resolves the behavior.
Dr. Becky’s counterintuitive advice teaches parents to pause and understand the root cause of poor behavior rather than simply reacting to it. Gentle parenting starts with assuming the best in your child and giving them the same respect you’d offer an adult. I also love her idea of focusing on building resilience in your kids vs. striving to keep them endlessly happy.
That said, the book could have been shorter. It’s repetitive, especially when applying principles to different scenarios. While the repetition reinforces key ideas, it occasionally feels excessive. Also, in my humble and still childless opinion, I do think the approach’s reluctance to incorporate firmer discipline may sometimes miss opportunities to teach right from wrong.
Despite these drawbacks, I thought Good Inside was full of practical wisdom. It’s not just for parents but for anyone seeking better, more empathetic relationships. And if you’re a parent or about to become one, be sure to follow @drbeckyatgoodinside on Instagram.
Rating: 3.8 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
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Essays I'm Reading
Paul Graham is a renowned entrepreneur and investor, best known for co-founding Y-Combinator - an accelerator for tech startups. But I know him best for his clear, thought-provoking essays on topics like technology, philosophy, and life. His writing is beautifully direct, devoid of lofty language or pretension. Here are some of my favorite essays of his, which I revisit often.
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- How to do Great Work - What are you excessively curious about — curious to a degree that would bore most other people? That's what you're looking for.
- Write Simply - Words should be so simple that the reader doesn't think about them.
- The Need to Read - One of my favorite excerpts of any piece of writing in the last few years:
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A good writer will almost always discover new things in the process of writing. And there is, as far as I know, no substitute for this kind of discovery. Talking about your ideas with other people is a good way to develop them. But even after doing this, you'll find you still discover new things when you sit down to write. There is a kind of thinking that can only be done by writing.
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2024 Books Rated
This year, I read 42 books, making the most of my reading time before the arrival of Baby Brennan. See below for my full 2024 reading list in order, along with my rating on a scale of 1 to 5. For more in-depth reviews on each, follow me on Goodreads!
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- Dopamine Nation - Dr. Anna Lembke 5 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Lessons in Chemistry - Bonnie Garmus 4.8 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Ordinary Men - Christopher Browning 3.9 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
- The Fish that Ate the Whale - Rich Cohen 4.3 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Worth Defending - Richard Bresler 4.0 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow - Gabrielle Zevin 4.5 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Build the Life You Want - Arthur Brooks & Oprah Winfrey 2.4 / 5 ⭐️⭐️
- Die with Zero - Bill Perkins 4.2 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- How to Know a Person - David Brooks 4.7 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Einstein - Walter Isaacson 3.8 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Outlive - Peter Attia, MD 5 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Red Rising - Pierce Brown 4.0 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Siddhartha - Hermann Hesse 3.3 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Infidel - Ayaan Hirsi Ali 5 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- The Surrender Experiment - Michael Singer 3.8 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
- 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think - Brianna Wiest 1.8 / 5 ⭐️
- Call Sign Chaos - Jim Mattis 4.1 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Amusing Ourselves to Death - Neil Postman 5 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Pygmy - Chuck Pahliniuk 1.6 / 5 ⭐️
- Think Again - Adam Grant 4.2 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- The Virtue of Selfishness - Ayn Rand 3.9 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
- An Immense World - Ed Yong 3.8 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Golden Son - Pierce Brown 4.7 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- The Autobiography of Malcolm X - Malcolm X & Alex Haley 4.6 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- What’s Our Problem? - Tim Urban 4.6 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy - John Le Carré 2.3 / 5 ⭐️⭐️
- River of the Gods - Candice Millard 3.7 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Crypto Confidential - Nat Ellison 4.5 / 5 ⭐️⭐⭐⭐️️️
- Table for Two - Amor Towles 3.9 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️️️
- The Generals - Thomas Ricks 3.8 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
- The E-Myth Revisited - Michael Gerber 3.7 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
- The New Dad’s Playbook - Benjamin Watson 4.5 / 5 ⭐️⭐⭐⭐️️️
- Red Sky Mourning - Jack Carr 4.1 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Ultra-Processed People - Chris van Tulleken 4.3 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- The Revenge of the Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell 4.0 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- The Inner Game of Tennis - W. Timothy Galley 4.4 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- The Hero with a Thousand Faces - Joseph Campbell 2.4 / 5 ⭐️⭐️
- In Too Deep - Lee Child & Andrew Child 3.7 / 5 ⭐️⭐⭐️️
- The Wager - David Grann 4.3 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Same as Ever - Morgan Housel 4.0 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Cradle and All - James Patterson 2.9 / 5 ⭐️⭐️
- Good Inside - Dr. Becky Kennedy 3.8 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
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What I'm Listening To
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MOONLIGHT is a DJ who creates awesome EDM remixes of famous rock songs, like Lynyrd Skynyrd's Free Bird and Eric Clapton's Cocaine. I've really been enjoying this remix of one of my favorite songs from the 70s by The Hollies (shout out to the Remember the Titans iconic soundtrack).
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Quote I'm Pondering
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“People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.”
—Søren Kierkegaard
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Keith and Kyle sit down to discuss the recent unexplained drone sightings around the country, Søren Kierkegaard's philosophy, social bubbles, and the story of "The Wager."
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Books discussed in this episode:
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Top Books of 2024
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Browse my favorite book selections hand-curated by me. I also earn commissions so if you buy anything, those earnings get reinvested right back into this fancy newsletter ;)
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Affiliate Links!
I've had the fortunate opportunity to partner with some great brands that I love. Use the links below to find great hats, sweatshirts, and sunglasses
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- Huega House - 15% off first order with promo code: KYLEBRENNAN. My everyday hat is the Athletic Association in Green & white
- Find the Good Brand - 10% off first order with promo code: OBSERVE. I've been loving my 3 Simple Words Embroidered Hoodie in cream.
- WMP Eyewear - Excellent array of eyeglasses and stylish sunglasses. My favorite are the Sawyer Polarized for $45
- Amazon Storefront - Check out my collection of favorite books, workout gear, and tech tools for work-from-home!
- LMNT - I start every morning with LMNT's electrolyte drink, filled with salt, magnesium and potassium. It tastes delicious and contains zero sugar or any other junk. Try LMNT Risk-Free with a free sample pack (US only).
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33 Life Lessons on My 33rd Birthday
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Thirty-three was a big one. Mostly because I became a dad. Our daughter was born on New Year’s Eve — a fitting arrival for a kid destined to reset everything. It’s been a beautiful, if slightly sleep-deprived blur ever since. I’ve only been “Dad” for less than ten months, but if I’m being honest, I’ve been preparing for the role for over …
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Depth Over Downloads: Why Spending Time with Books Still Matters
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Everyone wants faster information. But no one asks if faster information leads to better understanding — or a better life. In the age of AI and tweet-sized wisdom, we’ve confused information with transformation. But there’s a massive difference between knowing what a book says and being changed by it. The Delusion of Instant Learning In a recent interview, political journalist Ezra Klein admitted he once believed …
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The Jack Reacher Approach to Never Being Caught Off Guard
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There’s no difference between a pessimist who says, ‘Oh, it’s hopeless, so don’t bother doing anything,’ and an optimist who says, ‘Don’t bother doing anything, it’s going to turn out fine anyway.’ Either way, nothing happens.” —Yvon Chouinard, Founder of Patagonia I don’t read much fiction, but I’ve always been hooked on Lee Child’s Jack Reacher. He’s not your typical …
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