The Subtle Art of Selective Sucking (Calm Down, It’s Not That)

The best way to free up your time in 2025?

Stop doing things you suck at.

Take vacations, for example. For years, I stressed myself out trying to travel hack like a pro. I’d sit through dinners with friends who’d brag about flying to Europe for free — maxing out their credit card points, gaming airline loyalty programs, and landing comped hotel stays with their AmEx. Meanwhile, I was the idiot paying full price for everything.

Sometimes you see everyone around you jumping on a trend — TikTok dances, NFTs, or baking homemade sourdough bread during a pandemic. Naturally, FOMO kicks in, and you think, Hey, I can do that too.

So I dove in to the Credit Card game. I read blogs, watched YouTube tutorials, and crunched the numbers. I was trying to become the kind of person The Points Guy would feature in a ‘Success Story.’

And guess what? I hated every fucking second of it.

It wasn’t just a quick chore on my travel checklist — it felt like joy was being sucked out of my soul. Even when I managed to “win” at this ridiculous game, I couldn’t shake the feeling that some credit card nerd on Reddit was laughing at me for wasting 3,000 points on some subpar redemption. Like, shouldn’t this be more fun?

Then it hit me: Why am I trying to be good at something I don’t even enjoy?

At first, I thought it was just another one of those irritating moments I’d brush off. As a perfectionist, I felt like I had to nail every little aspect of gaming the points system. Why is this so easy for my friends? I’m just as smart as they are. But the more I sat with it, the more I contemplated why I spent time agonizing over it in the first place. I only wanted to do it because I wanted to join my friends in bragging about how much money I’d saved. The truth was that they enjoyed playing that game, and I was realizing that I didn’t share their enthusiasm for it. I wasn’t bad at it — I just didn’t care enough to get good at it.

That’s when I remembered a piece of advice from financial expert Ramit Sethi. He has a rule I about money that I love: “Spend extravagantly on the things you love, and cut costs mercilessly on the things you don’t.” It sounds straightforward, but it’s surprisingly hard to put into practice — at least until you start thinking about time the same way.

Because if time is our most valuable currency, why should we waste it on stuff that sucks the life out of us?

Look, sometimes we have to do things we don’t like: pay the bills, endure holiday visits with the in-laws, and sit through performance reviews with your boss. That’s just life. But what about the mind-numbing tasks we choose to suffer through? All for what? To feel like we’re keeping up with the Joneses?

Inspired by Ramit, I came up with my own rule:

Maximize your time doing things you love, and ruthlessly eliminate everything else.

This isn’t about laziness. It’s about leverage. You only have so much energy and attention to spend in a day. Why waste it trying to optimize for things that don’t bring you joy or meaningful returns? Time is the one thing you can’t get a refund on.

For traveling, that means skipping the points spreadsheets and doubling down on my actual strengths — designing a great itinerary, scouting awesome restaurants, and nailing the logistics (rental cars, train tickets, etc.). Sure, it costs me an extra $100 here or there, but I’d rather pay that tax than spend hours agonizing over Delta points transfers.

The idea of “Selective Sucking” has become a mental framework for me. Life is a game of trade-offs. You can’t excel at everything, so you might as well get intentional about where you’re willing to fall short.

Here are a few things I’ve accepted being terrible at, and how I’ve worked around them:

• Being Sociable in the A.M. My best brainpower happens between 8 a.m. and 11 a.m., so I’ve learned to keep meetings and calls for the afternoon when I’m less likely to be grumpy.
• Microsoft Excel Formulas: I’ve mastered VLOOKUPS, and that’s about it. When the formulas get fancy, I delegate to someone who can knock it out in half the time. I could spend two hours learning, but I’d rather not.
• Saying No to Invitations: A packed calendar stresses me out, so now I follow a simple rule: it’s either a “HELL YES” or no. I also ask myself, “If this event were tonight, would I still say yes?” 90% of the time, the answer is no, and I can avoid the regret.
• Cooking: I hated cooking in college, but I also hated spending too much on takeout. So, I paid a friend $10 a day to cook me dinner. It was a win-win (mostly for my stomach).
• Appliance Repair: I’ll gladly try fixing things myself, but if it’s going to take four hours to repair my dryer, I’ll happily throw $200 at the problem to avoid the frustration.

By accepting the areas of my life that I’m willing to suck at, I free up bandwidth for what matters most — the stuff I’m passionate about and the areas where I can generate exponential returns.

So here’s your action item: Pick one thing you’re going to deliberately suck at this week. Let go of the guilt. Maybe it’s meal prepping, or replying to every email, or learning how to fix the leaky faucet. Outsource it, delegate it, or just ignore it entirely (well, maybe not the faucet). Then channel that saved energy into something that moves the needle for you — personally, professionally, or otherwise.

Remember: You can do anything, but not everything. Choose wisely.

— KB